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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921889">your lips tasted like soda candy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/asheshome/pseuds/asheshome'>asheshome</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Ending, Short</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:15:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,226</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921889</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/asheshome/pseuds/asheshome</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>*trigger warnings at the end of summary</p><p>my lips brushed against yours and all i could remember was the artifical soda on your mouth. your tanned hands intertwined with mine, the world missing from our view. </p><p>did your lips always have a chalky aftertaste?</p><p> </p><p>tw //<br/>-angst<br/>-implied suicide</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. soda candy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i'm not encouraging forced shipping nor am i encouraging the idea of forced shipping. respect those lines. </p><p>i respect content creator's boundaries and if one does want this to be taken down, i will do so.</p><p>this book does use the use of real names! if that makes you uncomfortable, it's better not to read it.</p><p>i'm well aware that these depictions of content creators are not who they are. they are simply how they are in the story because everything is fictional, its all for plot. </p><p>incase you haven't read the summary,<br/>this book does imply suicide.</p><p>stay safe lovelies!<br/>-ashe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i remember when i said i liked you. you looked at me with an embarrassed smile, i couldn't tell if it was out of pity or shyness but you said you liked me back. </p><p>and those doubts in my head disappeared. </p><p>the doubts that you didn't really like me or that you wouldn't accept who i am. the sadomasochist-like thoughts that i wasn't sure were self-sabotage or not. </p><p>but you,</p><p>you said those words that cleared the skies brighter than i would've known. </p><p>i felt my chest swell with overbearing happiness, euphoria. </p><p>an godly amount of euphoria that had created wings around me like a warm blanket. </p><p>through my blurry sight of joy i hugged you and you hugged me back. the warmness of your arms comforted me as i enjoyed our time. </p><p>the world felt like it didn't exist, the smell of your hoodie still reminisces with me. the smell of soft cotton candy skies and roses with rain, it felt so sweet. </p><p>the sweetness even hurt my teeth. </p><p>our hug didn't last that long as we departed from the loud low sound of the bell ringing. both of our classes separated but i'd never forget the happiness i felt that day. even if it was short lived.</p><p>it was an ephemeral fever. </p><p>and then after that, we went to the bridge that was near the sea. our first date being at a restaurant in the beach. i bought soda flavored lollipops and we shared them together as we walked around. </p><p>i was so happy, laughing and smiling the entire time. giggling at your silly jokes and blushing everytime our hands touched. </p><p>we were like kids. </p><p>everything was a first for us. you were my first friend and my first crush. the first person that i've been on a date with, to the first person i fell in love with. </p><p>after our first date, many more came. after three months i said the first 'i love you'. </p><p>and you said it back and i swear i felt complete. like angels singing to me. it doesn't seem like a big deal to outsiders but my heart swelled. </p><p>i remember we were in the park after school that day. and i specifically remember eating these soda gummies, and i could've sworn they had increased in taste once you said those words.</p><p>"i love you too."</p><p>the taste of carbonated sugar heightened as my cheeks flushed and i smiled. the uncontrollable will to just smile and giggle controlled me, and it seemed like you did too.</p><p>you giggled with me as you intertwined your hands with mine.</p><p>and now all i can think of you is soda candy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. strawberry sweets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm not encouraging forced shipping nor am i encouraging the idea of forced shipping. respect those lines.</p><p>i respect content creator's boundaries and if one does want this to be taken down, i will do so.</p><p>this book does use the use of real names! if that makes you uncomfortable, it's better not to read it.</p><p>i'm well aware that these depictions of content creators are not who they are. they are simply how they are in the story because everything is fictional, its all for plot.</p><p>incase you haven't read the summary,<br/>this book does imply suicide.</p><p>stay safe lovelies!<br/>-ashe</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>my love and adoration for you never had decreed since middle school. i like to believe that your love for me never dissolved. </p><p>we were still the same since then. </p><p>only thing that changed were our friends and our appearances. i started to wear glasses whilst you started to gain sharper features. my features shaping into a softer outlook while you had these diamond-like characteristics. </p><p>however your hand was still as soft as the first time i held it. the same comfort and security i felt when it intertwined with mine.</p><p>our friend group merged with one another and we still all hung out. our friends would fake gag or make kissy faces every time we hugged or talked with each other and we would all laugh. </p><p>they were okay with us -and i was just happy being here- security of a family i have chosen for myself. </p><p>us; you, me and them. </p><p>family. </p><p>just us. </p><p>i knew your home life wasn't as great as mine. but i'm glad i gave you a home. or at least, i believe i did. </p><p>i gave it my all to make you feel secure as i felt, and you only smiled at me and told me i was doing wonderful for you. my cheeks flushed.</p><p>security. </p><p>building a home. </p><p>we all went to a cafe after school. which funny enough, was called true love cafe. everyone made fun of us and i only giggled and you smiled.</p><p>they all had their orders and i offered to share mine with you. you looked up from your phone, a little surprised and agreed with a grin. </p><p>even though it was small, your smile always made me giggly. i'm not sure what about it was but i guess you just always made me happy. everything about you was just perfect to me. </p><p>i ordered along them and they chatted. i occasionally joined in. realizing that you weren't as chatty i look over, you looked completely out of it while on your phone.</p><p>out of concern, i asked if you were alright. you looked up once again, and nodded with a smile. i gave a small smile back and mouthed those words to you before you went back on your phone.</p><p>i wondered if you knew them.</p><p>you probably did because i said it all the time and you did too. those simple "i love you's" was just enough to make my day. i wonder if i made your day with my words. </p><p>our orders came in and i could smell the sweet strawberry that reminisces with me to this day. like a nostalgia that you couldn't place, but it was there. as our food was set on our table, i saw strawberry candy. </p><p>the ones that had the wrapping and tasted like childhood wonders. </p><p>we all ate our food, i remember feeding you some. i laughed as you got a little messy with the crepe i ordered. it seemed like you enjoyed the cafe's food as well. </p><p>i guess strawberry flavor was my favorite at the time. </p><p>again, you were distracted by your phone and i didn't want to violate your privacy so i just offered you a supportive smile. you gave me your sweetest smile and the strawberry candies i've eaten were nothing compared to the melting adoration i felt for you.</p><p>we all went home after the cafe. </p><p>you decided to go home with me, walking me to my neighborhood. we talked about simple things in life, of course, i talked about how i found you pretty. </p><p>with your cheeks heated, you smiled and got all shy. when we got to the entrance of the neighborhood, the sun was setting.</p><p>you looked me in the eyes and said those words while handing me the candies from the cafe. </p><p>"i love you too." </p><p>you said before pecking me on the lips and turning your heel. my face flushed and i walked to my house, popping in a strawberry drop. </p><p>strawberry candy has never tasted so euphoric.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. lemon hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm not encouraging forced shipping nor am i encouraging the idea of forced shipping. respect those lines.</p><p>i respect content creator's boundaries and if one does want this to be taken down, i will do so.</p><p>this book does use the use of real names! if that makes you uncomfortable, it's better not to read it.</p><p>i'm well aware that these depictions of content creators are not who they are. they are simply how they are in the story because everything is fictional, its all for plot.</p><p>incase you haven't read the summary,<br/>this book does imply suicide.</p><p>stay safe lovelies!<br/>-ashe</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i remember whenever my mom and dad would fight, my dad would the house after arguing. </p><p>it was a nice way to cool down from the tension in the room. later that day or sometimes days, he'd come home and my mom and dad took turns apologizing. they even gave each other their sides of the story. </p><p>communication. </p><p>after they would fight, my dad could come home with lemon candy. normally lemon lollipops, not sure why though. maybe because yellow was her favorite color. i remember popping a lemon lollipop into my mouth, the taste filling my senses.</p><p>such a sour taste but it was so sweet. it was unhealthy but it tasted so nice.</p><p>maybe that's why i liked you so much.</p><p>you reminded me of lemon candies, the ones that my dad would bring home as an apology to my mom.</p><p>except for the fact that, you never came to me.</p><p>and i never understood why.</p><p>i never cared for it, really. i still loved you and you loved me. you still kissed me whenever we met, the grapefruit melted away.</p><p>maybe i should've cared more.</p><p>but me wanting to respect your privacy, i continued to support you. asking about your day or week has been and you just gave me that smile and said you were fine.</p><p>i knew there was something bothering you but i guess i never had the heart to say anything.</p><p>suddenly, lemon doesn't taste so sweet.</p><p>you become more distant with me, choosing to avoid our friends. was it because we were in highschool?</p><p>were you ashamed of me? i wanted to know and i asked, you just waved it off and i accepted it as an answer.</p><p>you loved me. and i love you.</p><p>you were just going through a tough time. i could see it and you told me not to worry about it, i kissed you on the lips and my taste buds of lemons shifted to grapefruit.</p><p>i ignored it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. cherry lips</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm not encouraging forced shipping nor am i encouraging the idea of forced shipping. respect those lines.</p>
<p>i respect content creator's boundaries and if one does want this to be taken down, i will do so.</p>
<p>this book does use the use of real names! if that makes you uncomfortable, it's better not to read it.</p>
<p>i'm well aware that these depictions of content creators are not who they are. they are simply how they are in the story because everything is fictional, its all for plot.</p>
<p>incase you haven't read the summary,<br/>this book does imply suicide.</p>
<p>stay safe lovelies!<br/>-ashe</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>we have gotten into fights before, but never one like this.</p>
<p>never had you have to walk out—no, stormed out— of our shared apartment. i have never felt my heart ache so much, the tears wouldn't stop flowing that night.</p>
<p>you didn't pick up my calls or read my texts, desperately, i tried to at least get a word of comfort. </p>
<p>one word, or interaction. </p>
<p>this is when i realized, you were my support system. you weren't only just my lover and my dearest, but you were there for me. our friends changed and they grew close because of you, you had your support system too. </p>
<p>but our systems never merged. </p>
<p>i tried to ask for help from our friends, all they did tell me was to get better; as if i was sick. </p>
<p>to become what you envisioned in a relationship, having angel lust and baby's breath surrounded. to become a perfect lover for you. </p>
<p>maybe it was my fault. maybe it was my self centered thoughts that collided with your sweet heart. maybe i was just too insecure and should've left it alone. </p>
<p>i even asked your friends about my insecure thoughts, they brushed it off. said it was my problematic mindset. that i was just insecure and that my feelings were raw. </p>
<p>i didn't even bat an eye. </p>
<p>my hands left my phone screen and i went to bed, exhausted from thinking about you but still afraid that when i wake up, you'll won't be by my side in the morning. </p>
<p>the dark then covered my eyes with their comforting hands, my tears dried. </p>
<p>it didn't last long as i jolt awake, having a dream i don't even remember. but i felt your presence, next to me. </p>
<p>i felt relief brush my body, i looked over and my insecurities were given evidence that i didn't believe. </p>
<p>you had dark cherry lipstick marks on your face to your neck, i could smell a familiar scent of alcohol —it reminded me of your childhood— but that alcoholic smell was subsided with unfamiliar perfume. </p>
<p>i pretended like i didn't see your rustled hoodie, that i didn't see the love bites on your dark skin, that you weren't wearing the belt you wore yesterday morning before you left. </p>
<p>...</p>
<p>i pretended like you didn't go out and spend our money on the alcohol that drove you. </p>
<p>i pretended to sleep as you got up to wash up, and lay in bed with me when you were done. pretending that your cold warmth was like heaven to me. </p>
<p>i decided to live a lie.</p>
<p>and it worked.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. broken lollipops</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm not encouraging forced shipping nor am i encouraging the idea of forced shipping. respect those lines.</p><p>i respect content creator's boundaries and if one does want this to be taken down, i will do so.</p><p>this book does use the use of real names! if that makes you uncomfortable, it's better not to read it.</p><p>i'm well aware that these depictions of content creators are not who they are. they are simply how they are in the story because everything is fictional, its all for plot.</p><p>incase you haven't read the summary,<br/>this book does imply suicide.</p><p>stay safe lovelies!<br/>-ashe</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>your name always hurts me. it haunts me. living in a lie from your own actions. </p><p>but it was partially my fault as well. i chose to pretend that it didn't matter, i chose to pretend. i blame myself for not speaking out about it. </p><p>i blame myself for not being enough. </p><p>and suddenly lemon candy doesn't taste so sweet anymore. </p><p>the lemon lollipops you brought home are broken, like you have with my heart. you have hurt me.</p><p>like with strawberry drops, you broke the outer surface and spilled out my insides until i was nothing left. just a shell of who i was. </p><p>everytime i kissed you goodbye, you weren't there. you weren't the same person i loved and found. my lips brushing against yours and always tasting the wax of lipstick. </p><p>the artifical love you gave me, the artifical lipstick was a new normal to me. </p><p>instead of tasting sweetness, i found grapefruit in your teeth. </p><p>you're nothing but a liar. </p><p>but you loved me. </p><p>you loved me before her. </p><p>the words you told me weren't a lie, were they? you loved me, i'm sure of it. </p><p>before her, it was me. </p><p>it was always me. i was always the issue.</p><p>i'm so frustrated. </p><p>i can't find the reason to hate you. i can't find the feeling to hate you, i can't find why i should. </p><p>i wish i didn't love you so. </p><p>candy can taste so sweet sometimes. </p><p>eating them gets sweeter everytime, the sweetness dissolving on my tongue getting me feeling higher than the empire state building. </p><p>i wish you were here with me, zak. watching the sunrise like we did on few of our dates. the sounds of the waves is always so calming. </p><p>the sun just barely peaking. and my heart aches at the sound of you, zak. </p><p>i loved you. </p><p>i love you and sometimes i wish i didn't. </p><p>thank you for being my love, and loving me the best you could until you got tired of me. </p><p>. </p><p>the water never felt so cold.</p>
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